Christmas is, supposedly, “the most wonderful time of the year.” For some, this is actually the case: They spend the week surrounded by loved ones, feeling warm inside due to genuine contentment. For many people, though, Christmas just isn’t like how it’s painted on Netflix. They might be estranged from family members, or live far away from others, or have to be at work, or simply don’t celebrate Christmas at all. In any given year, it’s estimated that around 4 percent of people spend Christmas on their own.
While the words “Christmas” and “alone” might sound depressing to some, it really doesn’t have to be. The upsides are that you can do whatever you want. And you can create your own traditions around the festive period. One friend of mine likes to watch horror movies alone at Christmas (“I call them ‘anti-Christmas’ traditions,” she says, “Anything that people typically don’t do on Christmas day, I love.”). While others like to treat it as a sort of self care day – hot baths, face masks and sobriety etc – smug in the knowledge that they won’t wake up on Boxing Day with a face like a water balloon.
Indeed, there are many ways to do Christmas alone in the right way – enjoy it, even. Here are some tips for a solo Christmas, whether it’s your first or one of many.
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Eat something genuinely delicious
Christmas is for eating with the kind of reckless abandon that defined ancient Rome. If you’re on your own, it’s just not realistic to attempt to make an entire Christmas dinner for one, unless you want to wash dishes into the night. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t gorge on your favourite meal. A lot of people – especially those who don’t celebrate Christmas – order Chinese takeaways on Christmas Day. Or if a luxuriously cheesy cacio e pepe is more your thing, then whip it up. The only rule is to eat a proper meal of something indulgent, that you actually want – crisps and chocolate coins don’t count.
Take extra care of yourself
While it can be tempting to go full sicko mode and get absolutely trashed while watching TV in your underwear before passing out, I don’t necessarily recommend it – you’ll only wake up feeling awful. Instead, Ciana Glynn, personal trainer, health coach and founder of The Wellness Primer, suggests totally pampering yourself. It’s not often we’re presented with multiple days to focus only on ourselves. “One of the most essential tips to keep in mind this Christmas being spent alone is self care,” she says. “Take care of yourself mentally and physically. Practice self care activities such as journaling, meditation, yoga, exercise, or enjoy a relaxing bath with epsom salts.”
Create your own traditions
When you spend Christmas with others, you often have to stick to a certain schedule: presents in the morning, roast dinner by mid afternoon, or whatever the group decides. On solo Christmas, you make the rules. Maybe you want to go watch a movie (plenty of cinemas are open on Christmas day), or treat yourself to a spa break (again, some spas will be open). “Identify what makes you feel good,” says Jade Thomas, Psychotherapist and founder of Luxe Psychology Practice. “This might be exercise, getting outside, downtime watching your favourite movies, helping others, cooking etc… Incorporate these activities into your day because you have full control over how you spend your day.”
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Plan for the year ahead
The great thing about spending Christmas alone is that while everyone else is distracted and overwhelmed with hyperactive, over-sugared children or older relatives with questionable politics, you can use this time to get prepping for the year ahead. I have personally already created a mood board of haircut ideas for 2024, but you can do what you like. Start writing that novel. Get into yoga. Learn how to play guitar. You have been blessed with a window of opportunity for whatever you so desire, so use it wisely. “Consider the benefits,” says Thomas. “You can decide exactly how you want to spend your day, you have full control.”
How to spend Christmas single
While there are some downsides to being single at Christmas (less presents, less attention etc), there are plenty of upsides (you don’t have to buy things for a whole other family, you don’t have to pretend to like something weird you’ve been gifted). Still, a lot of people find it hard being single at Christmas, especially if you don’t have many siblings or a wide group of friends. That said, remind yourself that relationships don’t automatically equal emotional fulfilment. Being alone doesn’t always equate to loneliness, and vice versa.
“Think about the difference between being alone vs being lonely,” says Thomas. “Being ‘alone’ is a physical state where you are physically by yourself. Being ‘lonely’ is an emotional state where you are feeling alone or disconnected from others – even when they're right next to you.”
What if you do actually feel lonely, though?
Even if you’re someone who enjoys being alone, or has chosen to spend Christmas solo, it’s normal to feel pangs of loneliness when almost everyone else is surrounded by family and loved ones – especially when they're constantly posting about it online. “If you do feel lonely, recognise your emotions and give yourself some compassion,” says Glynn, who suggests giving people a ring or message on the day. You could also volunteer if you feel up to it. “Spending part of your day volunteering for a local charity can be very rewarding. There are many organisations that would love volunteers, which can bring a sense of fulfilment.”
“Lastly, enjoy the peace and quiet of solitude,” she adds. “It is a good way to learn to enjoy your own company if you have not already done so. Focus on having a day to do what makes you happy, plan things that you know will make the solo experience more fulfilling – even the little things that bring you joy.”
