A racehorse named Morestead brought his A game today for the start of the Cheltenham Festival in Gloucestershire, England. The Cheltenham Festival, of course, is the annual coming together of horses and the people who love them to watch races, high jumps, uh, and all the other ur-British horse-related things you've probably seen people soft clap at on Downton Abbey. But back to Morestead, the peacocking thoroughbred. The stallion cut a majestic, and also entirely uncommon, silhouette across the British countryside in a three-piece Harris Tweed suit and matching driving cap, courtesy of designer and former Alexander McQueen apprentice Emma Sandham-King. It took Sandham-King and her team four weeks and ten times the amount of nubby tweed fabric of a suit intended for a man (59 feet to be exact) to complete the sartorial showpiece.
Of course, Morestead isn't the first quadruped to don some designer duds. Internet sensation Menswear Dog, astronaut chimps, every circus animal ever, water-skiing squirrels, and 90% of the cats you see on the internet have all made their mark in borrowed-from-the-humans gear. And as cute or clickable as they might be, there's one obvious problem with how they're dressing: we can see their junk. After all, aren't clothes intended to cover our nether regions? I mean if we're really looking to humanize these creatures in our stylish wake, why not get some (albeit really long) zipper flies going? It's the same problem that's allowed cartoon characters to basically expose themselves to audiences for the last fifty years. If anything, Morestead is just the latest in a long line of animals failing to meet our societal sartorial standards. (He's is not by far the worst, though—at least he has something resembling pants.) That said, it's a sad day when we can admit a horse is dressing better than a lot of bipedal bros on the street.
